Friends Part 2

Although the issue of Elisabeth and friends is one that we will cover. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes a girls just needs a good cry. So most often I offer a quiet shoulder. Then we have talk and prayer time.

Rosa boys at beach.

I love the picture of the Rosa boys at the beach. I did a little professional touch up. What do you think?

Friends.

I asked Libby this morning while I drove her to school if she had any friends at school. She commented on kids she knew and one girl she considered her friend but has been out already two days since school started last week. Not much was said on the way to school.

This evening she comes into my room, sits on the floor and sighs. I asked the question I usually end up regretting. "What's the matter?" She replied with sobs and tears. She began to explain through her tears that she does not have a friend in school. She had spent the last two years without a friend. Her recess times have been lonely, just walking around. I do not regret that my daughter feels free to share her troubles with me. I regret asking the question because when the answer is something that hurts her, it hurts me.

I can't stand to see her cry and I would rather avoid it than deal with it. I gave her the best answers I could at the moment. I can't think straight when she is bawling on my shoulder. I spouted some Bible verses and made some jokes, but I need to really help her. You see what do you tell someone whose definition of happiness, or at least happiness in school is having friends. I am sure it is not her only definition, but it is an important one.

And so I ask myself the question. What is really in her heart? What is driving her so about friendship or lack of friends that cause her to get really upset? I know friends are important and the love of a friend and what you share with them is precious. In my mind, I think I would like her to be more content with whatever is going on in her life. I would rather desire that nothing would bother her, but that would not be realistic. How do I take hold of her heart and care for it and protect it?

I told her that Jesus is a friend to the friendless. That we will pray for a godly friend for her and that she but know how to be a friend. Karen and I were careful to let her know not to change just to be friends with a mean girl or unpleasant girl just to have a friend.

Friendship is important, but sometimes friendships are desired for selfish reasons. Elisabeth is a sinner. If she has truly trusted in the Lord then she is a redeemed sinner. She struggles with sin just like we do. Her desire for a friend can be as selfish as well as altruistic. I understand she sees other girls being friends and must imagine how happy their lives are. However, I also understand that she may want to fulfill her selfish and self-satisfying desire to have a friend because it pleases her and satisfies her own self-esteem.

Instead of finding her contentment in the Lord, she wants to find it in another, not to give but receive. We are all like this. Some of our so called "friendships" are nothing more than relationships of what we can get out of them, or how they make me feel. Some even have this relationship with the Lord. What we can get out of Him and how He makes me feel. We want to feed our self-esteem and not humble ourselves.

So for the next 10 months I must teach my daughter and myself what exactly in our hearts. I must show her that glorifying God and pleasing Him is more important. And to look for friend for the right reasons and not to satisfy or please ourselves.

I do not know if this makes sense. I have not proofread it. I just needed to get this off my chest. Please pray for us and especially Libby.